Review of Reviews:
I was going to take a look at the movie reviews in the Chicago Tribune, but I couldn’t read more than three lines without subscribing. So I went to the Los Angeles Times. (No logic intended.)
Mark Olsen of the LA Times Reviews The Family (9/13/13)
Review Rating: 3.5/5 Stars
Spoilers: Not so bad. With self-discipline you can skip most of them.
The takeaway (what I can understand without the spoilers):
Robert DeNiro is an ex-mobster turned FBI witness. Witness Protection placed his family and him in the French countryside, where, “conveniently”, as Olsen puts it, most of the townspeople speak English. Michelle Pfeiffer plays the mother and their two kids–a boy and a girl (John D’Leo and Dianna…..
Just now I went back to the review to get the last name of the actress who plays the daughter and BAM out of nowhere comes a spoiler. Well, not out of nowhere. In the second to last sentence. I thought it would be safe to look there because the last sentence, a pithy summation of his opinion, has no spoilers. That’s too bad. The score of this review went down a notch, and I was going to quote that last sentence because it is so well written.
And so I move on to the elephant in the room. er, in the movie theater.
Witness protection where? WHERE?
the FRENCH COUNTRYSIDE?
I had no idea! Sounds like these guys don’t even know French. Think if I learned French, “found” some information the FBI might like, I would be able to live on the French Riviera, thanks to your tax dollars? (What if the evidence were actually true?)
Oh and the name is Agron. Dianna Agron. Too many syllables for a Bond moment.