Finding Fish

2013-12-17 09.10.00
Lucy’s friend with benefits (x-rated pic withheld).


My daughter,  on a quick visit from the East Coast, wanted all of us to see Finding Dory on its opening day. I jumped at the chance to be with her and her BF. We’re going in two hours. But before I go, I want to know how low to set my expectations. (Pleasant surprises are always the best experiences.)

Without further ado, here is a review of a movie review of Finding Dory.

Plot: Dory is missing or she doesn’t know where she is. No one needs to know. I forget.

The NY Times

review by A.O. Scott

Help! I can’t contain myself and not review the reviews of The New York Times! But I think this one is kind of interesting.

Spoilers skimmable: Yes! The spoilers are aplenty, don’t get me wrong. But you know the Golden Rule of the NY Times Guidelines: Pretension begets spoilers. Thankfully the sentences and paragraphs begin with plenty of hints.

Example: A paragraph starts like this: “Instead of the open seas, Dory conducts her search….” WARNING WILL ROBINSON! It’s obvious that the very next word is the gateway to spoiler village.

Here she is!

Ladies and Gents, I may have perfected the art of the skim!

Bottom Line: It’s good, but not as good as Finding Nemo.

A.O., pro forma, starts his review with superfluous context–he pulls off reviewing a movie within a review of another movie:

Finding Nemo is “Pixar’s 2003 masterpiece”: A.O. extolled F.N. as brilliant in its technical innovation, resulting in “beautiful” visuals.

OK, I think that it’s interesting that Finding Nemo was a revelation in technology and filming, but was it a masterpiece for any other reason?

He continues his thought: “The movie,” he says, is “a visual revelation, was also a welcome defense of risk-taking in an era of anxiety, and something of a cautionary tale about the downsides of helicopter parenting.”

Really? Era of Anxiety? Story with a moral? The father was neurotic and overbearing. But did that cause the son get lost? Seriously.Did it? I forget.

Last point:

A.O.’s disrespect for fish with disabilities:  A.O. Scott calls Dory “absent minded.” Really? Swim with her and suddenly she forgets what transpired in the last few minutes; that’s not simply absent minded–it’s some sort of cross-wiring in the brain, and it’s endearing.

Oh A.O. Scott and The New York Times, thank you for so much fodder for this blog, but next post, I must move on.



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