SPOILERS BEGONE!

You know those ads at the bottom of some webpages that have titles of lists? Click on one and you might get to a website that almost made my dreams come true:

Cheatsheet.com

10 Cloverfield Lane–the article:

‘10 Cloverfield Lane’: A Potential Game-Changer for Hollywood, by Robert Yaniz Jr
According to this glorious article, the marketing campaign for 10 Cloverfield Lane could change our universe.  It could restore the movie-going experience to its very core, nay, its very nature in all of its full glory.
That marketing campaign? Nothing. That’s right, nothing, like Jerry and Georges’ plot for their show within a show on Seinfeld. No big buildup–no interviews, no previews for weeks on end, no gossip about the doings on set.
johngoodman John Goodman
in other words, the Anti-Zoolander 2.
The movie slipped onto our radars only two weeks before its opening, when the spoiler-free preview came out.
The article concludes on this note:
[I]t could mark the beginnings of a counter-response to the spoiler-filled marketing campaigns perpetuated by studios…and lead to something of a revolution with regards to preserving the awe of seeing a story’s twists play out upon first viewing. After all, that’s what the magic of the movies is all about.
Be still my heart: can this really lead to a revolution? Oh please, let it be.
But doesn’t that article sound well-written, interesting and intelligent? Surprising for a website with inane lists. I went on over to Cheat Sheet’s movie review.
Uh-oh.
I spoke too soon–

10 Cloverfield Lane–the Review:  

’10 Cloverfield Lane’: A Gloriously Stressful Non-Sequel, by Nick Cannata-Bowman

Great title, right? But it’s unsafe to continue reading–

lead actress with hand to mouth in shock
An ode to “Home Alone”

Plot: the movie is a suspenseful sci-fi about a girl who is kidnapped by John Goodman.

Spoilers skimmable? LOL. As if! This is a spoiler-laden review of a suspenseful movie.

Bottom line: it’s good fun. John Goodman is fantastic.

OH THE HYPOCRISY:

Ten movies ruined by bad endings. 

This is the name of a list advertized on the SAME PAGE as the article about a world without spoilers. I kid you not. Once again you have to click on the ad to get to another link on the same site.

Don’t read this list unless you have seen the movies! Of course how can you tell if you’ve seen them if you don’t read the list? I can’t help you. I naively thought that they were just going to list the movies with some photos, like the usual lists, but they do not. They dive right in. After each movie title, you get a complete rundown of the movie’s end.
I give up.
I shall stay away from lists that ooze oil forever more.
Unless I see lists that I really care about, such as:
  •  17 movies with dogs played by cats
  • 28 stars whose hunched backs were straightened by Special Effects.
  • 12 movies that changed the way that we look at Stonehenge.

gal_dwarves

Spinal Tap in a scene with tiny Stonhenge
This be Spinal Tap
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One thought on “SPOILERS BEGONE!

  1. Barbara,

    Thanks for your kind words about my Cheat Sheet article regarding the marketing of 10 Cloverfield Lane. I totally agree that this film in particular is best experienced without spoilers, and with any luck, our current spoiler-filled culture will begin to embrace a sense of mystery when it comes to upcoming releases. There are some studios that have already gotten onboard. Fingers crossed that trend continues!

    -Robert

    Like

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