Doctor’s Report, Psychiatry Dept.
Patient Recommended for for Johns Hopkins Study, Media-Induced Schizophrenia.
Patient: 3347 (Name withheld)
- Daily electronic shock treatments.
- Immediately before and after electronic treatments patient is to watch Anchorman and when available on video, on demand or foreign websites, Anchorman 2.
Diagnosis: Severe Delusional Schizophrenia
Summary: Patient believes that Ron Burgundy, the movie character played by Will Ferrell in Anchorman and the upcoming Anchorman 2, is real. With increasing frequency, she hears his voice telling her the news.
Patient’s delusions indicate immediate need for treatment:
Delusion 1: Patient insists that Ron Burgundy is giving a speech next month to Emerson College’a School of Communication in Massachusetts, and that the school will be renamed “Ron Burgundy School of Communication” for the day of his visit.
Notes: Patient channels her feelings of inadequacy towards her college education. I am puzzled as to connection to Emerson College. Nothing in her past has happened in Massachusetts or at a small liberal arts college to indicate symptoms.
Delusion 2: Patient insists that Ron Burgundy has been and will continue to be on TV as a:
- Guest on Conan last week, when he serenaded Toronto mayor Rob Ford.
- Future Sportscaster for Canadian sports TV station TSN.
Observation: Patient’s belief that Ron Burgundy serenaded the Toronto mayor shows patient’s compulsion to help others.
Observation: This phenomenon is becoming common in the United States, where people do not recognize each other unless they are connecting through media (see my article, “Regressive Reliance on Mass Media,” in The New England Journal of Medicine.
Delusion 4: Ron Burgundy wrote a book entitled “Let Me Off at the Top: Class Life and Other Musings.”
Observation: Patient is a prolific unpublished writer with deep resentment of those who are published.
Delusion 5: The Newseum in Washington, DC has a new exhibit entitled “Anchorman: The Exhibit.”
Observation: Patient demonstrates a wide range of creativity, especially with this delusion, which is illogical.
Newseum is a museum in Washington, DC dedicated to the First Amendment and its guarantee of free speech. Among its current exhibits are “JFK” and “Make Some Noise: Students and the Civil Rights Movement”; its 15 theaters are state of the art; on its website every day are front pages from that day in history.
By referring to the Newseum, patient is alluding to what she thinks is my suppression of her Constitutional right to free speech. She thinks that I demand she tells me only what I want to hear.
- Recommended patient’s voluntary admission to psychiatric department of Johns Hopkins University Hospital.
- Recommended to researchers that patient be part of clinical trial.
- Medications: see attached list.