C’est what, Captain Hanks?

This week I review three movie reviews of Captain Phillips with Tom Hanks that I found in three free city papers, ya know the ones with both movie showtimes and groundbreaking liberal exposés.

1.  Philadelphia City Paper

Full Disclosure: I have strong ties to the City of Brotherly Love. My husband hails from there, my niece lives there, my son goes to school there, as did my husband and myself.

ReviewerShaun BradyTPM-CGYoda

Date: 10/10/2013

Spoilers: For a review that is only one big paragraph, quite a few, but you can easily skim over them, especially the one that is introduced with Only two significant scenes…. When your eyeballs hit that, its time to hop, skip and jump.

The Takeaway in Yoda Dialect: Annoying, hand-held camera is, claustrophobic, scenes are, jarring Tom Hanks’ Vermont accent is,  condescending, portrayal of Somalis is. much better, Danish version is (The Hijacking) , C+,  movie gets. 

Note: Within one long paragraph, you can skip the spoilers and still take in Brady’’s smart analysis of the movie, as sophisticated as that of the guys from New York (I’m talking to you, The New York Times and The New Yorker.

Note: THAT NEW ENGLAND ACCENT. Thanks to Mr. Brady for warning me that Tom Hanks has a Vermont accent, which I suspect is similar to the Boston accent. I am a movie buff. I see movies of all kinds, but damn, I hate that Boston accent. It darkens the screen and pierces my ears. I simply cannot get beyond that accent to take in the movie.

2. Orlando Weekly

Reviewer: Cameron Meier

Date: 10/9/2013

Full disclosure: YOU HAD ME AT HELLO!

The first and second sentences tells you NOT to Google the real-life incident that this is based on and promises that they won’t give spoilers; otherwise the movie’s suspense would not be as effective.

YES! That is just it! Thank you, Orlando Weekly!

Spoilers: 0

Takeaway: With minor changes this is the true story of the hijacking of a ship that was carrying relief for Somalia. Tom Hanks delivers another tour de force Oscar-worthy performance.

Puzzler: This is how Meier describes Tom Hank’s performance:

He (Hanks) may not quite be the Hanks of Forrest Gump or Philadelphia, but he’s certainly the Hanks of Apollo 13 and Cast Away, in total command of his performance and his audience, and a pleasure to watch. It’s good to have him back at the top of his craft….

Huh? Tom played wildly different roles in all of the movies referenced above. This sentence makes no sense. He received academy awards for the first two movies mentioned; he was brilliant in Philadelphia—and he gave a beautiful, heartfelt acceptance speech about the AIDS epidemic.

600full-colin-hanksOh Tom, you are so wonderful, you every day man of the people, so nice and down to earth, father of a diabolical-priest son (Colin Hanks,  the evil serial killer on Dexter) and a wonderfully kind and honest priest (Colin Hanks, the priest who is a friend to a pregnant Peggy on Mad Men).

3. gambit of New Orleans

Reviewer: Ken Korman

The highlighted is so cool!
The highlighted is so cool!

Full disclosure: IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT! This is what did me in: in the middle of the home page, there is a one-question survey, headlined by c’est what? So check it: c’est is French, New Orleans’ second language. Pronounced say, it means “that is.” Get it? It means and sounds like Say what. Then you say what–you answer the survey. SO COOL.

After falling in love, I DESPERATELY WANTED TO LIKE THEIR MOVIE REVIEWS. With great trepidation, I ventured into the  movies section….and it delivers!!!

Reviewer: Ken Korman

Date: 10/8/2013

Spoilers: 0

Takeaway: A great movie filmed like a documentary, the M.O. of the director, Paul Greengrass, who directed Bloody Sunday and United 93.  Tom Hanks was fine, but the real star is the way that the movie is made. It’s a visual thang.

Honorable Mention: I detect a format for Gambit’s movie reviews. And it is entirely logical. The first sentence presents the greatest challenge that the movie has to overcome for it to be good. Instantly the reader gets an interesting angle that focuses both reviewer and reader.

For example, here’s the first sentence:

A minefield of potential pitfalls awaits any filmmaker who chooses to tell a story still fresh from recent coverage by the 24-hour news media. 

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